Wednesday night was David Letterman's final show, and I was a big fan in high school. So I went digging through old Word files I still had from my senior year, and found this gem I wrote for Humanities class. We were nearing the end of studying George Orwell's Nineteen Eighty-Four, so I presented/performed this for my study group.
From the Party home office in London, Airstrip One...
BIG BROTHER'S TOP TEN PET PEEVES
10. Those damn Eurasian bastards! (Or is it Eastasia today?)
9. Goldstein's book is selling better than mine, "12 Easy Steps to World Domination."
8. There's nothing on the telescreen late at night except that gap-toothed dimwit.
7. When people call me "B.B.", the proles think I'm a gun.
6. Windows 84
5. All those posters don't bring out my natural highlights.
4. Xylophone music. (Oops, that from a list of everybody's pet peeves.)
3. Doubleungood tenlist.
2. How would you like it if you were just a physical manifestation of a political movement?
1. I can't subscribe to "Pornosec Monthly"!