October 2008 Archives

Watchmen by Alan Moore

My review

The Onion (January 17, 2001): Bush: 'Our Long National Nightmare Of Peace And Prosperity Is Finally Over'

""My fellow Americans," Bush said, "at long last, we have reached the end of the dark period in American history that will come to be known as the Clinton Era, eight long years characterized by unprecedented economic expansion, a sharp decrease in crime, and sustained peace overseas. The time has come to put all of that behind us.""

Once again, The Onion sums it all up. Eight years early.

If the Conservatives ran an ad like this, I'd be sold.

Well, all the votes have been counted in Tuesday night's election so here's who I voted for in my riding and why.

I didn't vote for the Marxist, because that's too wacky even for me.

I didn't vote for the Green, because they're a one-issue party. And besides, I'm no pot-smoking hippie.

I didn't vote for the New Democrat, because, come on. It's the NDP.

I didn't vote for the Liberal, because I've never really agreed with their policies.

I was going to vote for the Conservative, but they announced that as part of their platform they were going to reintroduce their new copyright laws first brought in on Bill C-61, which died when the election was called. That was the deal-breaker for me. Not only would it make so many average Canadians felons for finding new ways to use the digital media that they've already purchased, but then-Minister of Industry Jim Prentice (also my MP) was such a dick when he finally granted an interview with the CBC to talk about it. Granted, Prentice gave the interviewer 10 minutes before a cabinet meeting so he was pressed for time, but he was clearly dodging the issues and was way over his head. Why does the government appoint people who don't understand technology to make the laws that regulate it?

That left really only one choice for me to vote for and preserve my right to bitch about the government. So I voted Libertarian. Me and 344 other people in Calgary Centre-North. Plus, after dealing with just one monolithic branch of the federal government as part of my job for the last five years, I think we could do with less government. Judges, police, national defense, that's it.

Now don't think I'm going full-bore loony with this Libertarian thing. If the Canadian DMCA bill doesn't come back, then the Tories will have me back for the next election in 2010.

And of all people, it's Jon Stewart that sums it all up.

I don't know if this qualifies as something you find funny after working in a tax firm, or it's just juvenile.

Whenever you authorize somebody to be able to access your tax info with the Canada Revenue Agency, the form states that it's stored in a Personal Information Bank called "CRA/P-PU-005".

Read that over a few times.

I just got a call from one of our clients, she said she was talking to me in May about some major revisions that we worked out together over the phone for her 2006 application for the That Which Must Not Be Named Program and she needed another copy as That Which Must Not Be Named was asking for it again.

The problem was, all my notes say I haven't spoken to her since March, and that was for a totally unrelated income tax issue.

Long story short, turns out I did speak to her in May *2007* and did do these revisions. Not May *2008* that she was alluding to.

Our clients must assume that accountants, like all nonhuman lifeforms, exist outside linear time. We're like the wormhole aliens from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, and we can see into the future as easily as we can remember the past. Only we're not worshiped as prophets by the inhabitants of a nearby planet.